
A member of the Athenaeum once put up a notice after his umbrella was taken from the cloakroom. It read: ‘Will the nobleman who has taken my umbrella please return it.’ A friend asked: ‘How do you know it’s a nobleman?’ He replied: ‘The rules state that this club is for gentlemen and noblemen, and no gentleman would take my umbrella.’
According to Somerset Maugham, the only value of being a gentleman lay in the fact that it wasn’t a pretence (he also said it was almost impossible to be one and a writer), but with the world changing faster than a baton handover in an Olympic relay, is it possible to have a definitive picture of one? Clearly, he must have manners, humour, humility, talent and courage, but there will always be more materialistic giveaways, too.
1912
The Proms
The Quorn
Rolls-Royce
Discovery
Baden-Baden
Royal Ascot
Goodwood
Guinea fowl
Bloomsbury Group
Norfolk
Henley
Shooting at Elveden
Belgravia
Moustache
Cigarettes
Rudyard Kipling
Tobogganing in St Moritz
Ballroom dancing
Come Dancing
Claret
Pinot Noir
Epsom salts
Wisden
H. M. Bateman
African grey parrot
Scotland in August
Manservant
Kedgeree
Bread-and-butter pudding
Fob watch
Gertrude Jekyll
Dining room
Herbaceous border
Royal Yacht Squadron
Arthur Conan Doyle
The Savoy Grill
Nightshirt
Ironed newspaper
English setter
Whist
White tie
12-bore
New pair of Purdeys
Catching lots of salmon in Scotland
Polo in India
2012
GlastonburyDuke of Beaufort’s
Land Rover Discovery
Rock
Glorious Goodwood
Venison
Hay Festival
Dorset
Henley
Shooting at Alnwick
Fulham
Clean-shaver
Nicorette
Antony Beevor
Skiing in Val d’Isère
Old Rectory
Strictly Come Dancing
New Zealand Pinot Noir
San Pellegrino
Wisden
Matt
Fagging
No servant
Muesli with blueberries
Sticky-toffee pudding
Diving watch
Arabella Lennox-Boyd
Kitchen
Wildflower meadow
Royal Yacht Squadron
Sebastian Faulks
The Wolseley
Turnbull & Asser pyjamas
Today
Black labrador
BBC Ten O’Clock News
No Tie
20-bore
Grandfather’s Purdeys
Catching no salmon in Scotland
Polo in Midhurst
Five perfect gentlemen
Sir Walter Raleigh for courtesy
The Light Brigade for heroism when facing certain death
Beau Brummell for exquisite dressing
Ernest Shackleton for rescuing his men
Lord Carrington for knowing when to resign
Five gentlemen of literatureLord Peter Wimsey
The Scarlet Pimpernel (Sir Percy Blakeney)
Mr Knightley
Raffles
Richard Hannay
Five things a gentleman would never doHoliday in Florida
Own a yacht without sails
Wear fuschia socks
Order Cristal Champagne
Plant a hanging basket